Ah... The Sound Guys!

A Position of Power - The Infamous Sound-Man

As I am a working musician, I play with a lot of different bands.  Along with this comes the privilege of working with many different sound guys.  But there seems to be an underlying theme amongst the majority of them, and it's not necessarily a good thing!  After much forced optimism, I've found that I must live on the skeptical side when it comes to this crucial role... the roll of the Sound Man.

Here are experiences from three different sound "engineers" that I've just recently worked with.  I have summarized their follies in order for the well-read sound man to better understand what it is that makes him either Great or Awful.  

Sound Guy #1
He's a "professional".  He has his own "studio".  He is "soundly educated".  In fact, he will talk your ear off if he thinks you're listening, throwing out as many sound-guy terms as he can.  He will tell you all about slue rate, crossover points, signal to noise ratios and more!  In reality, all you really want is for the monitor to be up or down when you ask for it, and for that simple change to not take longer than the rehearsal.  And although he's the guy that can mix decently, he's slower than a turtle to get around to doing it.  And why is it so hard for him to understand that the "mono out" on the instrument only gives the left side of the signal path, eliminating half of the desired and intended sound, and that he really needs to get both sides of the signal even if the sound system has a "mono" sum output?! Yes, yes... I know the instrument says "Mono Out".  But stop talking and THINK about it.  The instrument is programmed to run sounds in stereo.  By taking the mono output, you are only getting 1/2 of the sound.  In the case of keyboards, you get the lower half of the piano sounds without the upper notes.  Sure, they can be heard, but not with punch or clarity.  The keyboard doesn't know that you only plugged in to the left mono jack!  Need proof?  Download the manual!

Mr. Sound Man... one more thing... do you not hear that high pitched ringing from the lead mic?  Oh, yes... I see you are now FINALLY getting around to fixing it... kinda! 

And where did you get the idea that a multi-tap ping-pong delay was a good idea for the interview mic?  If I played my instrument as poorly as you play yours, I'd be out of a job!  I'm not sure why you still have yours!

Sound Guy #2

He's the guy that really isn't any good at sound.  He doesn't even know how the signal path goes, but he's still breathing and willing, and he can turn knobs!  Yes, that's him running house sound with headphones on!  So, since he's new and inexperienced, he gets stuck up on the mixer feed for the live internet streaming of the show.  That's right, folks... tune in by the millions (potentially) to hear the worst mix possible online, even though we have all the equipment and goodies anyone could ever want!  You won't know it by the sound!

Yes, Sound Man #2, that's the mic for the sax you just brought up and made louder than the lead vocals.  Yes, Sound Man #2, that's the guitarist now being shown on screen that can't even be heard because you don't have the right fader up.  And no... delay and reverb are not good choices for the kick drum!

Sound Guy #3

I know you're the bass player in the band, and as such, you have deemed necessary to elect yourself to the position of "Official Sound Guru".  Of course, you own the hodge-podge system of which I speak.  In fact, you have so many wires going from this to that to the other thing, that it doesn't even work once you have it all connected!  And even though you use this system with only this band, the only consistency is how inconsistent the system is!

Here's an easy rule... K I S S.  Keep It Simple, Stupid!

WHAT A BAND WANTS FROM A SOUND GUY

A system that works.  No loud hums.  Monitors that can be quickly adjusted, and adjusted without having to hear the sound man bitch that he has to reach up and turn a knob.  No feedback.  Easy connectivity for stereo outputs via DI boxes.  Hmmmm... you're a sound guy but don't have enough DI boxes, eh?!  Go figure!  How about not muting the mics till the notes have all been fully sung or played.  Ever hear of the term "segue"?!

WHAT AN AUDIENCE WANTS FROM A SOUND GUY

No feedback.  Full, well rounded sound to all seats at the appropriate volume for the venue.  Yes... having the mic up when someone starts talking would also be a good idea.

SUMMARY

Ok, so I've picked on the sound guys a bit.  That's because most of them deserve it.  Get good or get out.  Your lack of professionalism affects everyone on stage and in the audience.  Take your job seriously or do the industry a favor and retire. 

SPECIAL THANKS

A very special thank you goes to those sound men who demonstrate excellence and enhance the live experience.  Thank you... to all of you who have done and continue to do an amazing job.  You are the only one who can make what the musicians do on stage come to life for all of those in the seats.  You are irreplaceable.  You are as much a part of the band as any of us on stage.  You are appreciated beyond words.  Thank you!